Today skip school! Very tired to go school. I actually wanted to take photos for my project but end up i can't find my models. ha.
Yu jian ni .zhi hou ai shang ni. ran hou hend tou ni. Qing ai de rang wo wang ji ni.
Since i don feel like donig anything at home now, i decided to blog. I decided to write about him. My past relationship.I don't know whether i had let him go, but this is the finally time i am going to mention him in my blog.
This is my first relationship. We started knowing each other since i am sec 2 but it was only after 2 years then i get a chance to know him better. We started smsing each other, then chat with each other on the phone. Perhaps its the first time, everything was sweet. So he asked mi to be his gf on July 8 2003 . I was happy and surprise. I guess thats my sweetest moments in my life tilll now. Everything was perfect and sweet. He would try to squeeze out time to be with me, picking me up after school and find every chance to meet me. I was naive to believe that this fairy tale will never end. I guess my smiles are the sweetest at that time. He is a good bf. I remember when we celebrate our fist valentine's day together, he actually cook a meal for me to eat, i was surprise and really touched and thats when my love for him grew stronger.
We would find every opportunity to go out , and when i knock off from work, he would stop by and pick mi up (even through he is having exams). I guess our relationship stays at a point for a very long time. He is a good bf but he didn't give me enough sense of security. He is not good in his words and he can be mean in his words. Even through he never scold me or shout at me before, the words he said to others could hurt me. He can live in his own happinest and forget all about my sorrows. I guess long lasting love can only happen in fairy tales and not in reality. Things started to change, he is always lazy accompanying me to school and i can sense that he wasn't happy being with me anymore. So since he is lazy to acc me, then i will acc him to school. Waking up 6.30 in the morning to acc him to sch is nothing to me.When he is sick i would rush to his home and take care of him? Buy him all the necessary stuff. But i don't think he will apperciate it anymore.
He wasn't the one i use to know anymore. He didn't grab any opportunities to meet me anymore. He wasn't as caring and concerning anymore. So one day i decided to write an e-mail to him, telling how i feel. So he say we needed time so we never meet up each other for abt 1 week.It was me who sugguest to meet him. Thats was the day we broke up. When i ask him whether he still love me, his reply was " Not as much as before".Sounds hurting .
I admit i wasn't a very good gf. I had my temper too. I can be very wilful now and there. Maybe this is wat pissed him off. I was stupid enough to ask him whether if we can be together again. His reply was " be friends" ha.a. I guess he is happy that we finally broke off.I somehow can't accpet the fact that he broke up with me. But now i guess my saddness had turned into anger. I admit i wasn't 100% into the relationship coz i don't really trust him. Just when i finally put in effort into the relationship, we broke off. Funny isn't it. 1 Yr plus of relationship. I hate him for leaving me when i love him the most.
I still see him and then. But i got really pissed off seeing him. I don know y. I think he also. Hi is still childish in his words and never spare a thought for others.I can't sense any sadness from him. Perhaps he is good at hiding or he simply feels nothing for me. We both are tired in this relationship. Juz hope that i will never see him again.I can be happpy without him. Or i say happier without him.
Its not a very touching story but i guess i finally said what i wan to said. I can be happier without him! Cool.. Without you, i can have more time for myself and friends. I can fall in lvoe any time i wan. ok i am talking bull shit.*fingers on my lip*
Finding someone who lvoe you is difficult. You muz love him too right. It takes a lot of effort in a relationship.First cut is the deepest. Isn't it? I had to depend on myself now.
