Wat should i write? I simply don know.Feelig really retarded these few days. My brain is slowing down. I can feeel that. My movement is slow too.
Karate Tournament is approaching. To be frank i am quite worried. Although we are wearing guard, i still feel the danger behind every punch and kick. It is going to be a serious matter and it is going to be completely different from the normal training. This is how i feel. I can;t laugh when sparring which i always do. I don wanna get hit by other people.
Tomorrow is the second training. I was quite shock to see so "many" people coming down for the first training. Very shock. I am confused. Very. I seems to be reaching my limit. I felt that i made no improvements at all while the others are improving well. I feel weak regardless in wat area.
This the most idiotic thing. I was asked to come down three times for an interview on three different days. And guess what? I had to wait for call agian. Shit. wWaste my time. I need a job, and earn some $$ art materials and many stuff. Spending my parents $$ is really a very guilty thing. I feel bad for taking their $$ which my father work so hard to earn it. I am spending as if the $$ are easy to earn. I am afraid that one day when our family run out of $$. I am spending way too much.
So much things to be worried about when you are the eldest in the family. There are some things which ur parents never mention so you have to kept guessing and eventually worried abt it. I am worried i am not setting a good example for my sliblings. Worried abt many stuff tats y i don like to stay at home. Feel heavy.
