Suddenly remember a lot stuff. Toda went for training. The kids are some how affected by the karate compeition which is held on monday. I shall call it " post karate effect" The kids are a little bit widl toda. Runnning here and there and a bit out of control.Ha.h.a.Crazy things happen and a lot of lame lame stuff came out.
Memories came flowing back to me. I suddenly think back to the time when i was a NCO in npcc. A lot of stuff happened. Unhappy stuffs i should say. A lot of them especially during camp's meeting and the camp itself too. I wonder why people always wanna be a the top of the world with everyone below them. Isn't it that tiring? Always wanna be those who are controlling and commanding people. Why can't everyone juz step a step back and then compromise each other? It is stress to see this kind of secenerio and can;t do anything to help it. I know i am not those kind of people who had great leadership and controlling people thats why i can;t do anything big , but i juz feel ..
I wanna start all over agian. Whether it is my school work or relationship. I felt i am lagging behind in my school work. I juz can't design soem thing which is really creative. Someitmes, i had a tot of gonig to np to study business with my friends, at least i am not alone in SP. I am always afraid of my results and assigments. With everyone around you had great results except urself, it is really very stressful. I wasn;t good in any particular modules and i am really scare that once i graduate, i can't find any job and in the end i had to do soem jobs which are totally different from what i had study. That kind of feeling is eerie. Inferior.
I am totally a loser in relationship. I am not those who will chase a guy . I would rahter spend a life time secretly admire him rather than going forwrd to express my feeling. I am not a person who is good at expressing myself thats why people always misunderstand what i mean. I juz don know what to say abt myself.
