Encouragment is not easy to express. Whether it is through physically or verbally, It is hard. Its simple to encourage others but not you yourself. I find it hard to encourage myself. I want to improve but i am just standing at one point without moving forward. I tried my best whenever i can, but still i am standing on the same old spot. I wanna improve but i just can't. I dare not tell anyone how much i wanna improve. There are some kind of people who are talented, others needed hard work to succeed but there is one particular group which no matter how had to try , you will never succeed, it seems that you are born to fail. Thats me in one of the particular group. Whether it is rugby or karate , its the same.
I know it sounds demoralising but i just couldn't help it. I have no one to express out my disappointment and even more disappointment. Even there is one, i just can't say it out because unless you are good in motivating people if not i don wanna be demoralise by your words. Thats why i say encouragement is not that easy. I am be demoralise easily because i am sensitive to words but i am confident that after a few days later, i will once be motivated again.
My dad juz came home. He was drunk once again. I hate seeing him drunk. He will say a sort of nonsense which no one could understand. He will suddenly dig out the past and started to tok about it. I hate histories especially unhappy histories. My mum is fuming now. My family seems to be ok on the surface but i guess, there all cracks and scratches all under the beautiful and clear surface. My parents never cherish the time we spent together. Never ever.
Toda is a special day. Only beauty and the beast know. I guess only the beast remember.
