I felt guilty. Things had changed so much that it wasn;t like this before.I wasn't myself when i am there.I was juz trying to join in the crowd. It is once my passion but for some reasons, my passion is now respondsibilty. I hate myself. I feel so useless. I can't do anyithng to improve the situation. I can only make it worst.
I wanna play!!!!! I wanna to relax!!!! I wanna vent out all my angry and unhappinest!!!! I wanna cry out loud!!! I wanna all my unhappy memories to be erase!!!I wanna be happy!!! I wanna cry i wanna die. I juz hate living in this world dealing with tonnes of complicated stuff.I juz hate myself.
Things had change ever since that day. Life is so different now. I learn to be more independent and strong and not to rely on others. In the past, i am like a little gal who is living in her own world with her mind occupied by her boyfriend and in her eyes, there is only one person, thats her boyfriend. Neglecting all her friends and spenting too much time on her boyfriend had made her a weak and vunerable person. She neglect all the stuffs around her and don't know what is the feeling of being heart broken. She cannot decide things on herself and always have to rely on others.
Now she had changed. She knew she had wasted alot of time in the past relationship so she make full use of her time now. She cherish her friends even more because friends are people who make her stronger and happier. She can take care of herself now. She is more independent now. Although she is still indecisive, she can finally rely on herself now. She had grown up to be a more mature gal.She know what to do and what not to do. She knew the feeling of heartache , so she told herself that she will never wan this feeling anymore.
She is into another relationship now. She finds it comfortable being with him because he is the only person who understands her. Although not 100% but its always the case. He is a people who see all her flaws but still decided to like her. She feel relaxing to be with him cause she has nothin to hide anymore. She can be herself. She is a gal which no guy had wanted her to be their gf . She wasn't pretty or elegant. She is juz a normal gal with a sucky attitude.
