I am still in my holiday mood.
obviously.
My tiny brain seems to have stop working.
No ideas are generated.
And no matter how i tried to squeeze ideas, brainstorm,
i come up with trashy ideas.
i am wondering if i could really work in the industry.
For those we know me, i am very blur.
And i can't meet the expectations.
Look juz look.
My drawing sucks.
My ideas are trashy.
I am not saying myself useless
but i can't find anything i am strong at.
I am really afraid.
Sometimes ideas can just come naturally
but sometimes (now) i am in a crisis.
i am back to yr 1 time, where all my works are so lousy.
Know what is the best moment for me?
The best moment is when all the ideas kept flowing in
and i am drawing down ALL the sketches feeling so wonderful and proud of myself.
pHEW.
I juz love it.
Now.
my brain cells are dying.
sim chiew hong.
thats my name.
whats ur first impression of my name?
I don't really like my english name.
Especially with my family name.
Not because i don like my family name but it sound so weird.
So hard to remember.
Doesn't goes well.
But this name is significant to me.
Its my grandpa who name me.
And ever since i was k2 i never saw him again.
I don really like people to call my full name.
especially those who pronouce my name wrongly.
It sound so embarrassing.
And i feel offended.
its only those who are angry with me call me that.
in my memory, only the teachers call me that.
I hate that.
sucks like hell.
But still wanna thanks grandpa who gave me this name.
Does my dad still loves my mum?
Does my mum still loves my dad?
It seems like they are together for the sake of being together.
For the sake of us.
Its been about 19 years since they are together.
They agrue with each other almost everyday.
They never hold hands like old couple do.
They never go out together.
Its weird.
Does loving someone means accepting all his or her flaws.
If i can;t, there is no love?
Its really weird.
I need ideas.
Ideas ideas ideas.
in my memory,
everone think i am not capable of handling big task.
Ya i indeed.
i make mistakes everytime.
Once u make mistakes or do a bad job,
people will fovever think you are a loser.
Juz like design.
When someone said he or her trust me,
i feel touched.
Coz seldom people said that to me.
Not even my parents.
and friends.
or even the closer people.
its is always the people whom you neglected
No body seems to believe whati said.
Do i look like a jerk that nobody trust what i said?
I am bad at consoling people.
counselling too.
I am bad at expressing my feeling.
So people always misunderstand me.
Maybe ppl find me eccentric?
sorry.
i don know how to coax a person.
I can't make a person happy.
booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo............
sensitive period agian.
wanan eat breakfast?
i don dare to ask.
boo.
