I am too busy doing stupids odd jobs rather than updating my blog.
All of a sudden everyone was asking me to change.
Change into a completely different person.
Change into a fierce and vicious lady.
Change into a outspoken person.
All of the sudden i feel trapped.
I feel pressured.
I don know who to become.
If design industry is all about backstabbing n betraying,
then i don know if i shall gave up something which i love.
Or maybe i can be yan ting,
set up my own little shop selling the things you like.
As long as i can be myself, everything would be fine.
Work at first was good.
But everything changed.
People changed.
People talking bad about others.
People using people.
Doing all those communication job doesn't seems to help in my port folio.
YES.
It does help in my fucking communication skills
but i think my fort folio should come first.
Without a good port folio,
even i have good f communication skills i think is worthless.
I knew i don know how to express myself.
I know i am quiet.
But i like the way i am.
Didn't they say accept who you are?
I knew even if i change, i wouldn't change much.
I knew myself.
Once a rabbit always a rabbit.
Rabbit can't change into a tiger overnight right?
Then how do i sound convincing?
Working now makes me feel so fuck up
I knew i can't survive outside.
Yet i knew my limits.
I am not the kind of person who will agrue with strangers.
CAlling a designer and arguing with her about deadlines isn;t going to help me.
I feel pressured.
I feel like telling her :
shut ur mouth your bitch!
You are the desinger n i am the client.
So juz do ur fucking work
and take the fucking money and get out of my fucking world!
He suppose to do the stuffs.
But he gave it to me half done.
I wonder if this is good or bad.
I am too tired to see who is really for our own good or juz
using us.
Or wan us to die.
I juz don know how to continue from it.
WAITINGfor calls and hearing those fucking voice makes me fucking pissed.
Lots of things are making me pissed.
Stupid cramps.
Stupid man.
everything is stupid.
Juz too tired to differentiate who is good or bad.
Juz wish to get out of this fucking hell.
Don mind my language.
Coz i am really angry and frustrated.
I broke my record for writing so many vuglarites.
